How It All Began:
The Origin Of Original Sin
First, there were these living entities that were complete within themselves. They were so constructed that they could screw themselves and reproduce their kind.
One day, one of these entities said Hell! This is no fun at all.
So he set out on a quest to improve matters.
He traveled the world over, trying to find a way in which to pep up his sex life. Viagra hadn't yet been invented, and even the wonderful world of pornography, aka the internet, was a zillion years in the future.
One day, he encountered an old man sitting under a tree. Who are you? asked Adam. Did I mention his name was Adam? The old man replied, I am god. Adam promptly hunkered right down next to god and proceeded to explain that he was bored with his sex life.
God: You're bored? Jesus! I don't even have a sex life. This sure is a shitty world I dreamed up. With that he plucked a louse from his beard and squashed it dead.
The two sat in silence for a while, contemplating nature.
Adam: It's just sinful how dull life is. Why don't you just wave a hand, send this all to the recycle bin, and start over?
God almost wept in despair. Oh, if only I could! By golly, Adam, if only I could! With that, he grabbed up his pea shooter and shot a pea at a sparrow. Hit it dead center and the sparrow fell.
But you've given me an idea, Adam. By gosh, I think you've got it! God stood up and did a little dance. Sin! That's the ticket!
Adam: Sin? Ticket? Ticket to what?
To all the joy and spice in living that anyone could want! God exclaimed, dancing over the landscape until he stubbed his toe and fell on his ass. You see, Adam, as god, I am perfect and can't make a mistake. Thus, I can't change anything I've created, but I sure as hell can add to it. I'll add sin!
Adam: What's sin?
God: Sin is anything fun, pleasurable, interesting, novel, and worthwhile.
A cloud passed over god's face as he pondered how best to add sin to his world. He thought and thought. Adam squirmed and squirmed. Not wanting to break god's concentration, he lapsed into a doze.........
Fourteen billion years later, Adam was startled out of his reverie by the shout
God sat there with a fatuous grin on his face, smug in the knowledge that he was about to create something interesting to watch while whiling away infinity.
First, I must create a group of beings called "fundies." They will adore the concept of sin and spread its fame far and wide.
Second, I must incarnate sin into a recognizable form........hmmm. Wonder what that could be.....
Adam stood and stretched, fairly bored by now, and intent on continuing his quest for an interesting sex life. He said as much to god, who then was struck by an epiphany.
Either that or an asteroid, hard to tell the difference sometimes.
WIMMIN! god proclaimed. WIMMIN! Wimmin wimmin wimmin! I'll create wimmin, the source of all sin! God, what a genius I am.
Adam looked puzzled, thought god was off his rocker, and asked, What's wimmin? How will that pep up my sex life?
God: Well, it's getting late. You must be hungry. Here, Adam, have an apple.
And so it came to pass that god created wimmin, sin, and fundies. I'm not ribbing you. That's really how it happened. Snakes had nothing to do with it. Shoot! They can't even talk, walk, or pick apples. It's not money that is the root of all evil. It's wimmin. If you don't believe me, ask any fundie.
You can't ask Adam. When last seen, he had found a wimmin of his own and was having a ball. You can't ask god. He hasn't been heard from in a lonnnnggggg time.
~ THE END ~
So that's it, dear reader. Original sin. It's name is WIMMIN!